In my experience, writing a guest list is one of the most stressful parts of wedding planning. Stuck on where to start? Here are 6 questions for you and your partner to ask yourself to help you decide who should get an invite to your big day.
Have you spoken to this person in the last year?
If you or your partner haven't had a meaningful conversation with this person in over a year, consider cutting them from your list. When I say conversation, I mean via any medium - social media, email, phone, text or in-person. Think about the last time you spoke to this person and how much has likely changed in your life since. Your wedding is about you and your partner celebrating the start of a new chapter in your life together, and you won't want to spend your wedding day making awkward small talk with people you haven't spoken to in years. There are some exceptions to this, for example, extended family, lifelong family friends etc, but it's a helpful place to start.
Would you be upset if this person didn't invite you to their wedding?
This question will help you decide who is an acquaintance (cut), and who is a real friend (invite). If you actually wouldn't be upset if this person didn't invite you to their wedding DO NOT invite them to yours. Chances are they actually don't really want to come anyway.
Are they an ex?
This should require no explanation. Do not invite your exes to your wedding day.
Do you speak to them outside of work?
Stuck on whether to invite your colleagues? Don't feel obligated to invite the whole office just because you share an employer. Only invite coworkers if you actually enjoy spending time with them outside of work.
If this person invited you for dinner next week would you actually want to go, AND would you be prepared to pick up the bill?
If you can't imagine enjoying spending an evening with this person then seriously question whether you want them at your wedding. Again, family is an exception to this rule (we all have an annoying family member), but with everyone else it works pretty well. Also think about the financial implications of inviting someone to your wedding. If you're having a full day celebration with a sit down meal, it will cost you around £100 per guest. Controlling your guest list is my number one tip to help you control your budget.
Can you imagine your wedding without them?
If you're still conflicted, ask yourself whether you can imagine your wedding day without this person. Would you actually want to spend time talking to them on your wedding day? Are they super fun and likely to get the party started? If you know you wouldn't miss them, don't invite them.
Now sit down with your partner and ask yourselves these questions.
Like I said, these rules are not absolute. Unless you're having a micro wedding then family members should always get an invite regardless of how little you speak to them. I'll be doing another post on who to invite to your micro wedding soon so stayed tuned.
Happy wedding planning!